Data Drunk
The state of being so intoxicated by metrics and analytics that you forget real humans use your website. Warning signs include referring to visitors as “traffic” in casual conversation.
Dictionary Category: Humorous CRO Terms (Unofficial but Oh-So-Real)
False Positive Fever
The excitement of thinking you’ve found a winning test, only to discover your results aren’t statistically significant. Often followed by the five stages of A/B testing grief.
Form Field Phobia
The terror that adding even one more form field will cause your conversion rate to plummet. Leads to forms so short that you capture nothing but email addresses and tears.
HiPPO Syndrome
When the Highest Paid Person’s Opinion trumps all data and testing. Symptoms include abandoning winning tests because “the CEO doesn’t like blue buttons.”
Pixel Peeper
Someone who obsesses over minute design details that have zero impact on conversions while ignoring major user experience problems. Often found arguing about font sizes while the checkout process is completely broken.
Sample Size Sickness
The chronic condition of never having enough traffic to reach statistical significance. Patients often resort to lowering confidence levels or declaring victory with 12 total conversions.
Significance Syndrome
The desperate need to find statistical significance in every test, leading to p-hacking, cherry-picking data, or running tests until you get the results you want.